This week I read First They Killed My Father by Loung Ung. Ung was born in Cambodia in 1970 in the country capital of Phnom Penh. Cambodia is located in Southeast Asia and is bordered by Vietnam, Laos, and Thailand. In 1975, the Khmer Rouge army invaded the city as well as all over Cambodia and began the years long Cambodian genocide.
First They Killed My Father is Ung’s account of life under the Khmer Rouge and the experiences of both her and her family as they were displaced from their home and forced to work at labor camps. Ung’s father was a high-ranking government official and the family changed their names and created new backstories to protect themselves.
Her story begins in April of 1975 and we get an insight to what Ung’s life was like as a toddler. She recounts arguments with her mother and siblings, getting to accompany her mom on errands around the city, and playing in the street with her classmates. As an adult, Ung can see the class differences between her family and others with more clarity than she could at five years old. She mentions their apartment with many rooms, and a maid to do cooking and cleaning. Their prosperity ended abruptly on April 17th, 1975, with the takeover of Phnom Penh.
As with most recollections of war, it is much easier to see the build-up once it’s over than when you are in the midst of it. At the time Ung didn’t understand why the city was being evacuated or why she had to leave her home behind. As an adult, Ung has the ability to help her readers see a time-line of events and understand the larger forces at work.
The Lon Nol democratic government (for which Ung’s father worked) was at war with the Communist Khmer Rouge, led by Pol Pot. When the Khmer Rouge won the war, they created a new government, which they called the Angkar. In this new government Ung’s family is at great risk. This is partly due to her father’s job in the government of Lon Nol, but also due to their Chinese ethnicity. Ung, along with her mother and siblings, have lighter skin that sets them apart from ethnic Cambodians and her mother speaks Khmer, the official language of Cambodia, with a Chinese accent. These vulnerabilities lead to the constant displacement of the Ung family as they live in fear of being discovered.
The Angkar placed each family from the cities to a rural village, filled with “base” people or families that did not have to move. The cities represented excess and Western influence and therefore were hated by the new government. In these rural towns the new families' belongings were taken, their clothes burnt, and they were given one pair of black pants, a black shirt, a wooden bowl, and a checkered scarf that identified the Khmer Rouge. Among the discontent of the villagers who are forced to work long hours and with food rations constantly dwindling, the Ung family moves from village to village, worried that in times of anger their family will become a scapegoat.
While they manage to stay together for a while, we witness the slow desolation and separation of the Ung family. Ung is one of seven siblings. In 1975 her brother, Meng, was18 years old, followed by her brother Khouy who was 16, her sister Keav, who was 14, her brother Kim who was 10, her sister Chou who was 8 and her younger sister, Geak, who was 3.
In 1976, Meng is deemed too old to live with his family, and is moved to a separate labor camp, along with Khouy, who marries to avoid being recruited as a Khmer Rouge soldier. Keav however is forced to become a child soldier. The Youns, or the Vietnamese soldiers, are attempting to invade Cambodia and fight the Khmer Rouge, so they have begun taking teenagers from their families to become soldiers.
As members of Ung’s family are killed or have gone missing, we are given paragraphs from their points of view, as Ung imagines what they were thinking in their last moments. This painful fantasy gives Ung a sort of closure and the ability to be with her loved ones across time and space. I found these sections to be the most insightful and emotional parts of the memoir.
After the disappearance and probable murder of Loung’s father by the Khmer rouge, her and her siblings separate in case their family’s identity has been revealed. Loung ends up in a camp where she is trained to be a child soldier. Her days consist of rigorous physical training, while her nights are filled with long campfires where she is taught the propaganda of the Angkar. The training is not just for her body, but also for her mind in an attempt to make her completely loyal to the regime that has upturned her entire life.
In January of 1979 the reign of Pol Pot ended due to the invasion of the Vietnamese and the defeat of the Khmer Rouge army. Though the war is over, millions of Khmer Rouge landmines still cover the country of Cambodia and Cambodia lost roughly 30% of its population.
Loung, Kim, and Chou are taken in by a family in a refugee camp, though they are basically their servants. Although the Vietnamese army is there to protect them, rape and sexual assault is rampant in the displaced peoples camps and there are no authority figures that the Cambodians can trust.
The three siblings float from family to family, hoping that their older brothers are alive and will someday find them and in April of 1979 they are finally reunited with Meng and Khouy. They then find their Aunts and Uncles, though this reunion doesn’t last long. Eang, Meng’s wife, has family in Vietnam and the couple decide to leave Cambodia and attempt to find their way to the United States, and they decide to take Loung with them.
They travel through Vietnam to Thailand and after attacks from Pirates and close calls by border guards, they end up in a refugee camp in Thailand. They stayed for many months, converting to Christianity in an attempt to get a missionary sponsor, until in 1980 they were sent to Vermont, USA. It will be many years until Loung can see her family again.
Loung says that her move to the United States sheltered her from the continuing war in Cambodia. She returned as an adult to visit Chou and Khouy, who never left Cambodia, as well as her many cousins, aunts, and uncles. She described her hopes for instant connection and her fear and anxiety at the reunion. When she arrived her family stood still and stared at her quizzically, and she realized her mistake. Her travel clothes: loose-fitting black pants, a brown tea shirt, and teva sandals, evoked the Khmer Rouge uniform that her and millions of others were forced to wear during the genocide. This moment that ends the book shows how far she has come from her childhood, and the disconnection she has from her home country.
I thought this book was an amazing introduction to Cambodian history, she mixed the realness and pain of being a victim of war, as well as the larger lens of history and country conflict. She has written two more books about her assimilation into American culture and her adulthood. She is now a national spokesperson for the “Campaign for a Landmine Free World” and has traveled all over to tell her story.
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